This post contains spoilers, ye ken.
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Pink to Make the Boys Shrink
I’m so pleased that I watched the Barbie movie, albeit six months after its UK release. ‘Sí, se puede‘ made me chuckle and Issa is a Rae of sunshine. In fact, my weekend plans will now be rejigged to involve some Insecure rewatching and self-care rapping in the mirror. I respect Barbie as a feminist artwork. Greta Gerwig has created something quite exceptional. I had a relatively awful time watching Barbie, though. I spent 90 of its 114 minutes with a face like a [Barbie’s] slapped[-by-a-misogynist] arse. That’s okay… because the film wasn’t made for me.
Woolf Whistles
Barbie is a stark reminder of the fact that we’re not there yet as a society. If we were, this movie would have been written off as nothing more than a pastiche of pop feminism and easter eggs. Gender inequality remains pervasive and deserves attention. It seems that Barbie made Virginia Woolf-shaped waves from mermaid water and empty milk cartons. If this is what it takes to spark fiery feminist discussions and further disrupt the patriarchy, so be it. Those familiar with works such as A Room of One’s Own (in which Woolf argues that a woman’s financial freedom is a prerequisite for her intellectual freedom) might not have learnt anything new from Barbie and her dreamhouse of her own but they’ll be happy someone else did.
Your Barbie is my Clueless
Watching Gloria (America Ferrera) deliver her monologue on the impossibility of being a woman, I didn’t gasp or fervently nod in agreement. Instead, I was swiftly transported back to 1995, ‘whelmed’. This isn’t a criticism. Cher and Barbie are unapologetically hyperfeminine protagonists in their respective pink, pop feminist films. They’ve helped us to reclaim the word ‘bimbo’, call out the Taters, and maybe read a bit more Austen, Plath, Criado Perez and Gay. For this, I am glad. I support how Barbie tackles gender inequality, however rudimentary it might feel to those of us who don’t require a feminist awakening. Barbie needed to have mass appeal for its messages to be far-reaching and long-lasting.
Pink with a Capitalist P
The messages are mixed, though. Barbie teaches us that empowerment is unidirectional, favouring one group over another. The kens’ ending neatly exemplifies this, but so does the excessive Barbie brand promotion. Big-firm capitalism doesn’t work without exploitation and, at least for some of us, a veil of satire does not magically absolve Mattel of its decades of wrongdoing. Tackling its own corporate greed so candidly in Joan is Awful style might have seemed a shrewd move, but perhaps not for the reasons we think.
Hyper-consumerism, Irreverently
Barbie’s a 12A in the UK. The BBFC highlights its ‘moderate innuendo, brief sexual harassment, and implied strong language’. There is no mention whatsoever of its depictions of hyper-consumerism. Children have been raiding Sephora for Drunk Elephant skincare products they’ve seen on TikTok, so I doubt many will resist Barbie.
It was no coincidence that a Shetland pony trek I witnessed in the countryside with all participants head-to-toe in Barbie paraphernalia coincided with the Barbie film release. The kids wore Barbie onesies and T-shirts, flawlessly paired with frilly socks and magenta-coloured shoes, while the adults opted for fluffy cowboy hats and shiny leggings. The ponies had dyed pink manes and tails, presumably because their glittery snap hairclips and silky ribbons (most of which I found on the ground the next morning) did not emanate enough Barbieness. The adults leading the equine trail appeared to be extremely proud of their pink parade, as they blocked off a public footpath and made a huge fuss – largely in incomprehensible baby-talk – when any pink-averse passers-by dared to pass. I smiled at them but wanted to pass them a copy of Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions.
I desperately want to believe that those three-to-seven-year-olds aren’t being the least bit influenced – albeit with ostensibly good intentions – into acquiring pretty-as-pink, gender-conforming, capitalist habits. I sincerely hope their significant adults do understand the crux of feminism underpinning this clever Barbie movement, because then they will also know that it has been heavily manipulated to legitimise the capitalist agenda, not least given that sales of Mattel’s plastic dolls are skyrocketing compared with pre-Barbie movie days. However, I do fear that the Horatian satire of the production has been somewhat lost on them, in favour of the naïve simplicity of sparkly microplastics, many of which will likely be inadvertently ingested by humans soon. At least we’ll all be a bit pinker, though. Right? The last thing water companies need right now is another waste scandal. The shrewd juxtaposition of shameless capitalist advertising, self-awareness and self-ridiculing jibes – neatly hidden under the guise of feminism – provides one huge, iridescent, PMS 19-toned shield against anyone who dares to think anti-pink.
I haven’t dared mention any of my negative opinions of the movie until now as I fear I risk being labelled an anti-feminist, an aguafiestas or, worse still, anti-woke. Sadly, capitalism wins again – and this time it’s been repackaged by Mattel and Warner Bros in a neon pink, self-jibing, comestible ribbon, and there is little we can do about it.
TL;DR: Barbie is worth a watch and might make you feel good but if you buy all the plastic merchandise, you might be adding to the capitalist problem and inadvertently supporting the patriarchy.
